Call of the Champions

Here is something to help cool those of us in warm (read: sweltering) climes, with John Williams, orchestra, and chorus modeling garden gnome winter fashions:

(Via MeridiusReborn)

Iran, Through Iraq?

The recent WSJ editorial that outlined how a U.S. withdraw from Iraq could broaden the Middle East conflict prompted me to wonder whether that was part of the plan all along, particularly with regard to Iran. If Iraq becomes a lasting success story (as is still possible), then that significantly marginalizes Iran, and war with the burgeoning nuclear power is less likely. If one of the few countries in the region that is [proto-]democratic and not overwhelmingly anti-American falters, the resulting boost for Iranian influence would also boost U.S. grounds for a war against Iran. With Iraq effectively neutralized by war and American troops freed for a new conflict, war with Iran would become highly probable. So Iraq presents a win-win opportunity over Iran: Succeed with one, gain diplomatic advantage against the other; fail with one, gain militaristic advantage against the other. Success is ideal, but there are a growing number of Pontius Pilates in D.C. who would rather do what is popular than do what is just. So barring a restored interest in saving Iraq, I suspect that bombs will drop on Iran a few months after America abandons the Iraqis. (Count this as another reason why I oppose abandoning the Iraqis...)

Thinking Of Spew

Sunday was the sickest day in my memory. It was probably food poisoning, but I am not clear on when or where I started hosting Viral and the Gastroenteritises. I do know that I woke up on Sunday morning, ran to the bathroom to vomit, drank some water, slept an hour, woke up, ran to the bathroom to vomit, drank some water, slept an hour, woke up, etc., for about 20 hours, with Gatorade, a bedside bucket, and a late-night addition of the runs being the only key variations. Of the graphic details I will quickly observe that leaning over the bathroom sink while sitting on the toilet is bad, having the dry heaves is worse, and blowing chunks through one's nose is worst of all ("I just sneezed corn?!").

Apart from the blur of bed, bath, and bucket, I experienced an overwhelming feeling that I was lost, despite being aware and responsive. Essentially, I was disassociating myself from my body. I have had others disassociate themselves from my body, but this was a first. The good thing is that I am happy to be reacquainted.

I rarely remember my dreams, so I should probably note the two I recall from Sunday night. In the first, I decided to go for an eventful walk while visiting friends in California. By eventful, I mean getting lost in the woods, surrounded by vicious ghosts, and rescued at the last minute by the claw of an alien spacecraft. In the second, I tried to help my brother track down an international hitman based at the University of Memphis.

All I consumed on Sunday was water, Gatorade, and a couple of aspirin. Honest.

Give Carter Credit

Any man who accepts a Nobel Peace Prize awarded out of spite rather than merit, manages to lose 14 partners at one go, and paints Hamas terrorists as misunderstood victims must be blissfully free from reality's burdens.

Next: Mars plan condemned after making a foreign official "very angry! Very angry indeed!"

No-Go For The Logo

My initial reaction to the 2012 Olympic "brand" was apparently the same exclamation of "What the [expletive deleted] is that?!" uttered by almost everyone not involved with the ghastly thing. Lileks of course summed it up as only he can, yet I hoped to be the first to note that it looks like... well, suppose the "0" represents a head and the final "2" is the rest of the body, with an arm reaching out for that protruding bit of the first "2." But no, someone had to say it outright: "It looks like Lisa Simpson giving a blowjob."

The Varèse Sarabande logo could not be reached for comment.

Al Gore's Mileage Will Be Amazing

India is producing an automobile that runs on compressed air. It pays to be full of wind!

Still, Bob Ewing's byline on the article is a surprise.

This Explains So Much

Write you own punchline: "You might not want to do it, but removing half of your brain will not significantly impact who you are."

Sudan Holds Fizzy Drinks Hostage

Accuse them of genocide, and they plot to take away our Coke. Do they want a full-scale war?